I’m writing this with my tasty dinner made (for free!) by the convention kitchen witch, and waiting for the cosplay expo to hear the winners for the art show.

This has been the single-most powerful experience of my career and an enormous boost in my confidence.

I’ve been so happy to be here and learn that everything I want to do is right here.

I’m the kind of person who wants to do anything and everything that comes my way, because I never know what I’m going to like until I try it. So many people here have multiple talents and interests and abilities and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have gotten to spend the weekend with such intelligent, talented, accomplished people.

AnD iTs nOt eVen OvEr!!!

I have so much to say but I would like to save it for after the convention. For now I’ll just say that I never understood the power of telling my story until now, and I finally feel like I belong in this world.

In the weeks before a show, deep in the weeds of measuring and framing and cutting and printing and pricing and the things that are decidedly not art, I start to wonder what all this is for.

I lay awake at night worrying if it will all come together. If the cardstock backing I used is acid-free. If the dimensions of the wall are accurate. If the five thousand mistakes I’ve made along the way with my not sensitive to numbers brain and my inability to cut straight lines and choices and choices and more choices— and here I am repeating myself. Eventually, the bullshit slows to a trickle and I begin writing the thesis of what I’ve gathered… and I realize what it is I’ve made.

I create art to make people feel. It is not about the style or the quality of the prints. Art captures a moment in time and reflects it in a way that fills your insides. I can use any tool or skill I want. The only limit is the fuzzy borders of my imagination— and I’m always pushing.

What do people want to feel? Well, it’s dependent on the venue. You don’t want to cry at Comic-Con, you want to maintain the high— so I bring you hilarity to cap the joy: I make you Shitty Stickers. I’ll draw anything you want- but it‘ll be shitty.

Multiverse was a new sort of animal. A literature-based convention. A gallery space, with hosts who will maintain it for me. That means I can do so much more, entrust you with more.

This has been the biggest struggle of my career, simply because of what it means to me. It’s the niche sort of space I’ve been looking for to generate ideas and invite conversation. To grow.

The highlight of my showing is dedicated exactly to that. Growth is a culmination of my specializations in digital and traditional techniques. I have used everything I’ve learned in this peice to manipulate light to my will. I wanted something fantastical. I wanted a realistic portrait nestled in a textural abstract, and I wanted them to blend.

I used myself as the subject because I know myself well, and I am okay paying myself the modeling fees. I also used myself because I am interesting, and I have never met another person like me. The socio-political benefits of painting a non-binary person, or AFAB person with natural and transmasculine features— is also a plus. I have lived an interesting life because of who I am, and I try every day to uncover more of why it is I am, who I am, and why others are not me.

Our abilities to transcend and transform are always at the brunt of the new frontier, the sizzling edge of science and (mis)understanding. If Art imitates life imitates art imitates life— can we paint our own future?

Bye I have some ends to fix.